The Ottery
“If an otter can’t have fun doing something, it just simply won’t do it.”

Who Knew? Scientology Wedding Vows Include Cats . . .

November 18th, 2006

I certainly haven’t been following news about the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes nuptials closely, since he’s insane and she must also be if she’s marrying him. But it’s hard to miss some of the headlines if you read Google News. This morning one in particular jumped out at me, and it was intriguing enough that I even clicked through to the article: “With this cat, I pledge my love.”

The article includes portions of the wedding vows from TomKat’s Scientologist ceremony. Now, I usually don’t like to make fun of other religious beliefs, but I consider Scientology fair game, especially when they come up with vows as silly as these. I mean, they sound like Star Wars dialogue.

For example: “And do you ken that by the customs of our race you pledge to him, and only him, your kiss and your caress?”

And, for the kicker: “Now, Tom, girls need clothes, and food and tender happiness and frills. A pan, a comb, perhaps a cat. All caprice, if you will. But still they need them. Do you then provide? Do you?”

What on earth? Well, I guess that’s what you get when you let little green men come up with your vows.

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